So my best friend has this dog that's visiting, I just walked by the dog, and said to my friend listen you piece of sh@& your dog just wiped it's *** on the rug...as I exited the room, he says "your just like that dog, I said what?, he said, yeah "that dog is white ( the dog is white) like your white Lilly ***....I said, go fu&$ yourself you sh@&rack.. Lmao.. Don't be afraid to post, we all do it..
Honest to god last conversation with the guy who was the best man in my wedding: him: well thats good man, im glad things are starting to piece together me: thanks brochacho! him: you're welcome n word f word (not censored) me: lol /incognito'ed him: lmao I cracked up typing that. no creativity me: well your parents werent creative creating you with missionary position either, but you still came out him: your mom likes missionary me: i know....i film it...... BRB calling my lawyer parents....
Friend: "Do you know what it's like to be a black man in America?!?!" Me" let's see, may or may not have a daughter by that woman, working two jobs, and owe you 20 dollars, my car is jacked up and can't afford insurance.." Friend "damn..we down like 4 flats"
I once told Maynard I would **** in his mouth. I later reneged the statement upon having learned that this would cost extra. Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
- I've told friends, with my wife sitting right there, that her vagina looks like a walrus mouth, tusks and all. We all laughed. She then said my junk looked like a thumb. - I've sent a photo of a dump I took to a buddy, just on the outside chance he was in an important meeting when it came across his phone. He sent one back a few hours later of a bigger dump, and he called me a rookie. - My wife, upon the first time meeting my mother, told her it was amazing that she raised a son that could cook, but its shame no one taught me how to please a woman. That's all true btw. The simple fact of the matter, is that people have different levels of what's acceptable humor wise. Its the job of each individual person to let others now what is and what is not ok.
Judging by your yearly avant-garde Christmas card, she wasn't lying. Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
- Was at a good friend's wedding in a kilt. At the reception, his sister asked what I was wearing under it. I told her if she played her cards right it could be her lipstick. - Used to call a buddy's wife "buckwheat" cause you could see the imprint of her bush thru her swimsuit. She never got the joke, but he laughed his *** off. - Got a buddy nicknamed "Pig", which he hates. When he joined the Army, I used to mail him letters during his Basic Training addressed to "General Pig" just to get him hazed by his DI. - Used to date a girl who's mom was way hotter than she was. Used to tell her when we were having sex how I wanted to do her mom in great and elaborate detail. She'd call me an a****** and grudge f*** the hell out of me.