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Why?

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Ambrose Bierce, Feb 21, 2012.

  1. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    Why do I always feel like everything is worthless and that the more I try and do something the harder it becomes only to end up falling apart in the end? I know its not always true but I feel like it is. I can't shake this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and bitterness towards everyone. Short of taking a long walk off a short pier I can't get rid of it and the more I try the worse it gets. WTF honestly
     
  2. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    If you're still on, PM me....I'll be up late.
     
  3. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    I'm still new to the site. Were exactly do I have go to PM that and it says your offline so probably a moot point at this time anyway. Thank you for the thought at least. It is appreciated.
     
  4. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    I post from my phone bro....i was merely suggesting PM for perhaps a more candid chat if you're interested
     
  5. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    Click on my user name, or go to my profile and select Private Message. Type whatever you want and I'll get it.
     
  6. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    only thing listed is Visitor Messages. No private message option. Thank you for reaching out at least but I'm not having any luck getting this to work. I don't want to keep you up or anything either.
     
  7. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    I'm up for a few more hours....it's not a problem. You must have Private messages off.
     
  8. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    To answer your original question, you have got to have some perspective. Things aren't ever that bad as they seem. What do you do to relax?
     
  9. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    I try to mostly distract my self from thinking by watching movies/tv shows or playing games. anything that causes me to focus on something else otherwise my mind tends to starts dragging me down. I was exercising for a bit but wasn't really relaxing. I've always had issues relaxing both physically and mentally which only compounds things. The perspective thing isn't the problem so much though. Mentally I know they arn't and it's just how some things happen but emotionally I can't shake it off. My thoughts and feelings don't mess. I know that everything will be ok but I can't convincing myself to feel that they will kinda thing. Its confusing I know. Sorry about that but I don't know how else to describe it.
     
  10. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    Dude, I'm no medical professional, but it sounds like you have some form of anxiety/panic attack problem.
     
  11. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    I am hoping to get some sort of medical help in the near future but the problems I've had are im perfectly fine for a while and then something happens and it feels like everything just falls apart and their is no way of knowing when or how long before things feel normalish. Usually when it happens by the time I see someone its in the past and usually no longer an issue. It's like manic depression but it's not an out of the blue sorta thing. Something always sets it off and it just all goes down hill from their kinda thing. Anxiety I would def agree with mostly because I'm prone to paranoia but not so much panic attack kinda thing. If that makes sense
     
  12. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    Go get that help now. Talk to your doc, clergy, shrink, whoever. Some employers offer free, anonymous counseling sessions. See about something like that. The longer this sits the worse it will be. In the meantime, I suggest building some confidence somehow. Set a goal doing ______, once you hit that goal, step up the goal in the same task.
     
  13. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    I'd forgotten about the whole goal setting thing. yea I'm in the works of setting something up with the VA. Hopefully it's something. I try to remind myself not to focus on the negative so much but it gets to be so overwhelming sometimes. I just feel like I'm somehow behind everyone else some times. Like missing a class in school and you need to catch up but no one to get notes from kinda thing. It's partially an envy thing but its more out of my inability to have or even keep the sorta things that are good in my life that they seem to have kinda thing. Like a part of me is sabotaging me and my life.
     
  14. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    Wait you're a vet? How many tours bro?
     
  15. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    only one. nothing flashy. None of that American Hero bs. Just a POG with time to kill.
     
  16. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    Wasn't going for that.....pogs serve a purpose.....branch?
     
  17. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    I do agree that it is a good idea to see a specialist.

    I have read that exercise helps this feeling. I have already read that diet and sleep also can help. You might be allergic to gluten and I have heard wonders of people who have eliminated sugar.

    Some other tips that could alleviate some of the pain while researching seeing a specialist. Write a gratitude journal, take time out of your day to dedicate to remembering happy memories, and stand up straight with your shoulders out while smiling(this might sound silly but it releases dopamine into your system).
     
  18. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    Army National Guard. No didn't think you were but knew/know so many people that tried to make themselves out to be freakin Rambo or something. I hated that SOOO much.
     
  19. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    You still in? If so, go hook up with the chaplain
     
  20. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    nah got out back in 2007. Had enough of the internal politics which amounted to everyone stabbing each other in the back trying to get ahead. The ranking system in the National Guard is rather

    I have changed my diet quite a bit over the years. Cut out soda and caffeine as much as I could. Avoiding fast food when possible. Cutting back on meat and trying to eat more vegetables and fruit. Sleep has always been an issue for me but I've been listening to this guided meditation for sleeping I found on youtube that was working. Usually play Old Time Radio programs when I sleep to drown out outside noise. Yea I gotta work on that posture thing. another in a long list of things I should work on.
     
  21. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    Just remember the glass is half full. Where do you live? Depending on where you live, I may know a guy you can talk to.
     
  22. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    The chaplains weren't much help mostly because I didn't really follow one specific religion. That and the time a chaplain's assistant gave me a black eye didn't help. Also why clergy or religious personal arn't an option mostly because they tend to be put off by the fact I don't follow their specific faith. I don't blame them or hold it against them because its a very personal thing for them and I respect that but it doesn't help me any either.
     
  23. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    No, the guy I know is a counselor who is an ex squid
     
  24. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    Newark, NJ right now. I'm typically iffy about the whole military thing but money being tight as it is the VA is pretty much my only choice right now. Thank you though. This has helped more than I was expecting. Thank you again. Tomorrow I'm going to try and get some things around and try and get my self back on track. I'll remember to set some goals so I have something specific to shoot for. Going to try and get some sleep and hopefully this whole thing passes by morning so I can attempt to get on with my life. Again thank you for everything.
     
  25. Laces Out

    Laces Out Well-Known Member

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    You're welcome. The guy is in Virginia, so he isn't terribly far away if you change your mind. Good night and keep your head up man!
     
  26. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    You probably could not PM because you didn't have enough of a post count. You might try again. I am a parish pastor. I work with folks who are not Christian often. But if you don't want to try a clergyperson then talk to the VA and/or your county's mental health folk.

    Think about it. You got onto a public forum with complete strangers and began to talk about your problem. You want help. Get it. Don't wait, if you are bipolar or something like that, the sooner you get meds/therapy the better.

    Best wishes.
     
  27. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    I am, but as I mentioned between when things happen and when I see someone a lot can change. I had a phone session this morning with a program though work but its only a temporary service. I am working towards trying to register with the VA. The problem was is all of takes time. I know its not bipolar because their isn't any up swings and its always an outside catalyst that sets everything off. Thank you for your help. A public forum sadly was the closest thing available at the moment until I get things with the VA sorted out.
     
  28. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    And you are welcome to post here. Don't do your own diagnosis, I have known folks with bi-polar disorder who never had deep depression swings and folks who never had classic manic episodes. It may well be something else but let the folks at VA or county health make the call with your input.

    The changes in feelings and events, while striking also do not really change the issue. If you are able try to keep a journal of events and feelings. Ypou may see patterns which help you and when you show the journal to a couselor, he/she might find patterns which will help them help you. Continued best wishes.
     
  29. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    Depends what we're talking about.
    If we're talking about accomplishing goals, then I'd say either: A. set less lofty goals while creating a few easier to achieve ones in the mean time to keep you motivated and rewarded.... or B. persevere and keep working at it till you accomplish it.

    If we're talking about relationships, then that's your problem right there. Stop working so hard. Let them come naturally.
     
  30. Ambrose Bierce

    Ambrose Bierce New Member

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    age isn't really accurate because I've always been emotionally behind for my age since I was born which doesn't help. Goals I've tried avoiding them mostly because large or small more often than not something tends to get in the way. It's not so much obstacles but more like some unforseen or unknown factor ends up derailing or trying to at least. Obstacles are one thing but to put it in simple terms imagine if every time you hit a pot hole you had to change your tire. It's not a complicated problem but enough of one that it gets to a point you just don't even want to drive anymore. I'm familair with Bipolar, Asbergers, ADD/ADHD, Tourette's. Had a number of friends that had problems with those. I was "diagnosed" ADD in highschool for a year but thats mostly because I'm a quick learner and would act out when I got bored (which of course was always) and the school was trying to shut me up basically. I know people have it worse off in life and I have no real reason to ***** or complain about anything. But as I said I know this but it doesn't change how I feel and that pisses me off. Mentally I know its no where near as bad as it seems and that it will blow over and all that but I can't stop my self from feeling like it. It's like I'm driving a car (yes another car analogy) and most days its the normal, casual me driving but when something happens and hits me just right it's like someone else is driving and I'm in the back seat kinda thing. It's not MPD or anything drastic like that nor is it schizophrenia. Honestly most days I can shrug off things that most people would be bothered by its just those random times something random gets me and its all down hill from their. As far as what I'm good at... I'm creative....thats about it really. I have a vast range of knowledge but nothing focused or useful really. I'm good with people when I want to be but not anything I could really branch off of though. I want to get into the movie business, behind the scenes mostly because I love watching movies and they make up at least a third of my life ( watching not being in them). Told I was a good actor once but don't really put much weight behind that. Have better chances of winning the lotto frankly.
     

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