Need good thoughts/Prayers

My grandfather is in the hospital, has been for a few weeks now. 95% of his liver is worthless. Hes a big drinker, and only 62.....but its been pretty rough. Today (this morning soon) they are pulling the breathing tube from him, to see if he can breathe on his own.

He can do 1 of 2 things. Start breathing, and maybe make it. Or stop breathing.

Its been pretty rough for my family and I. Recently (before going to the hospital) he started seeing a women we know 100% was into crack, drugs, and using him for his social security money. Pops, if you knew this man, was all about women, and has told us on many occassions that if he went out of this world with a lady in bed with him, he'd be dying happy.

But we knew this women was evil, using him, possibly (most likely) deseased. So we kinda cut contact with him, so he wouldnt bring her around our family, we didnt want her to know where we lived, our phone numbers etc.

Well my brother and I (we were very close to pops) started recieving phone calls......he was leaving drunk messages, telling us to call back, wanted to say hi, tell us something, or some dumb stuff like that. He always left a message, and he was always loaded.

So we figured "same ole' pops"

Well.....about 2 weeks ago (before he went into the hospital) He was calling me, every once in awhile.....not leaving messages though. Come to find out, when the landlord of his place found him, he was in his bed, had not gotten up in a few weeks, and needed medical attention badly.

I know he did this to himself, we warned him, and sadly we were prepared for this. But apart of me, crys daily thinking "what if he was calling me for help" and I didnt answer.

My family said I shouldnt beat myself up over it, I am the grandchild, he should be responsible and more mature.....but that doesnt help me from feeling badly. I dunno maybe i could have helped him? And what makes it worse, because of who he was with, and me not recognizing the number, I put it in my conacts as "pops dont answer"

Its eating at me.

I saw him saturday in the ICU, they are bringing him in and out of sedation so he can open his eyes, and maybe show some function. I went into the room and my mom said "dad, christopher is here"........he turned, with all his might, opened his eyes, saw me, and smiled a HUGE smile.........it broke my heart. I love him so much and I hate what he did to himself. and to his family. Hes the nicest, funniest man I know. Kind, never angry, big **** talking Eagles fan haha. It is just killing me.

I hope he makes it. I pray he makes it. I just don't know if he will.

Any good thoughts are appreciated.



-Chris

 

Cleared my pm box deb.....thanks everyone! my grandfather is out of the hospital, nothing short of a miracle really. He will never be the same again, pounding 10 kinds of medicine. Unreal situation......i appreciate all the thoughts, i truly believe it helped.