No Job, Self-worth Depleting

**Bumrush** · 02-15-2011, 08:09 AM

Aqua,
I greatly respect you and think highly of you, so please don't take this the wrong way

I have read many of your posts over the years and wanted to comment on your overall state of mind and this rapidly accelerating relationship. Take it from someone that got married quickly only to reget it later -It is imperitive that you understand your feelings and understand your potential mate before you dive in to a lifelong commitment with someone that you are still getting to know. You mentioned family issues and inability for her to get along with your family. That may be a huge red flag, especially if she is the catalyst. From what I can see you are isolated from your family and friends. DO NOT allow yourself to get swallowed by the concept of having a "rock" or being madly in love, because that is only temporary. You need multiple outlets, friends, family and hobbies and can't depend on one person to fullfill every aspect of your life.

In terms of the job search, you had expressed a desire to one day do sports broadcasting or reporting. Why don't you call the local newspaper and see if they are looking for interns?

I know a while back you talked about smoking marijuana on a regular basis. I won't judge that because when I was your age I smoked daily. At the same time, smoking marijuana has negative effects on your overall drive and sense of self. I don't care what anyone says, it becomes mentally addicitive and drives your market value down when looking for work. We live in a super competitive world and every brain cell burned is the next mans advantage.

Aren't you also facing fatherhood? For some reason I thought you guys either had a baby or were going to have one shortly...

**Aqua4Ever04** · 02-15-2011, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by Bumrush

Aqua,
I greatly respect you and think highly of you, so please don't take this the wrong way

I have read many of your posts over the years and wanted to comment on your overall state of mind and this rapidly accelerating relationship. Take it from someone that got married quickly only to reget it later -It is imperitive that you understand your feelings and understand your potential mate before you dive in to a lifelong commitment with someone that you are still getting to know. You mentioned family issues and inability for her to get along with your family. That may be a huge red flag, especially if she is the catalyst. From what I can see you are isolated from your family and friends. DO NOT allow yourself to get swallowed by the concept of having a "rock" or being madly in love, because that is only temporary. You need multiple outlets, friends, family and hobbies and can't depend on one person to fullfill every aspect of your life.

In terms of the job search, you had expressed a desire to one day do sports broadcasting or reporting. Why don't you call the local newspaper and see if they are looking for interns?

I know a while back you talked about smoking marijuana on a regular basis. I won't judge that because when I was your age I smoked daily. At the same time, smoking marijuana has negative affects on your overall drive and sense of self. I don't care what anyone says, it becomes mentally addicitive and drives your market value down when looking for work. We live in a super competitive world and every brain cell burned is the next mans advantage.

Aren't you also facing fatherhood? For some reason I thought you guys either had a baby or were going to have one shortly...

We're not really talking marriage or anything, we're happy and very satisfied with where we currently are. I love her, she loves me, she gets along great with my parents, but my brother and his fiance have kind of seperated themselves from the family as they are greedy and will step on me or my mother to achieve an extra buck. That's where that comes from.

I have friends still, man, I go play poker, I work out, I golf, I have plenty of things to do outside of her.

Yeah I'd like to be a sports writer but I just found a job at a dealership that I'm liking so far and that's going well. Not committed to it forever, but it's my temporary thing for sure.

**GridIronKing34** · 02-15-2011, 04:58 PM

My only advice to you than hasn't really been mentioned is keep meeting new people. Networking. You never know who can do something for you as far as advancement in your career. I did some video work for a local business fraternity in my area... I originally wasn't going to do it but I decided I would. The reason why I chose to do it was to work with a friend of mine which turned out to be a false assumption on my part. I chose to stick to my word and work with them regardless. After working with this group, they recommended me to one of the largest bar/restaurant companies in the city (they own probably an upwards of 10 successful bars/restaurants). I am now one of two people that they have contracted to do commercial-based video work for.

Sometimes you never know what can come up or even how... but those type of situations always occur because of someone you know. Always.