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Depressed as hell

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Seeking Answers, Jun 8, 2009.

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  1. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    The Suicide thread has been a very cathartic thread for me, and I appreciate the OP starting it and all the answers from our fellow brothers and sisters here. I am struggling right now, financially, mentally, work related all combining to make every minute I spend awake full of this chatter in my head, my mood swings are from joyous to suicidal and back. I am so worried. I don't really understand depression and it is probably why I have not been to a doctor as I have convinced myself that I know what is causing my depression. The problem is that I cannot seem to manage to do anything to change it myself but cannot convince myself to seek help.

    Two years ago I used to own a business, it went belly up and I have a **** load of debt, didn't file Ch 7 or 11 or whatever as in my mind it was my debt I would pay it off. Well, one year of being unemployed just killed us and now one year of a salary 2/3 of what I used to earn, we have negative cash flow and basically stuck our heads in the sand while we went deeper in debt.

    In the last month we have sat down and cut back expenses, came up with a budget that brings our cash flow to barely the right side of $0. I have negotiated with all of the debtors and canceled my credit cards and the payments are fixed with no late fees etc. We are going through Home Loan Modification.

    The issue being is that we are still one bad break from being screwed and right now I could be 2-4 weeks from being unemployed with no UI, our cash flow is already tight with my current salary, and I am not sure what I am going to if the money gets cut completely. I just have no confidence that I could get another job that pays halfway decent to keep us afloat.

    Actually I know what I need to do, I need to get new clients, but my head is so ****ed up I can stand calling anyone, I am so broke I cannot go to networking functions, so I sit at my chair paralyzed. I am so depressed and it is affecting me as I gain weight, don't play with my kids, not close to my wife but just cannot think that medicine would help me as the underlying issue causing my depression is my debt and ****ing medicine ain't paying that off.

    Thanks for giving me a forum to vent, I am normally a happy guy but just confused right now.
     
    King Felix, daphins, The Rev and 14 others like this.
  2. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    You are off to a good start getting your credit cards canceled and having fixed payments and no late fees.

    The business going under may have been more a sign of the times than your business sense. Still doesn't really make it easy to swallow, but it's probably the case.

    Glad you reached out here but like I told felix we can only do so much here. Eventually you are going to have to make a call to someone who can help you directly.

    I know what it's like to know what you need to do and not do it. It's a tough road and you have to find your own way of walking it. I wish I could help you out more with that.. but I can't.

    Try and keep your head up. PM me if you want.
     
    Boik14 likes this.
  3. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    I understand that and you are right.

    It was nice to just post it and get it off my chest and know that I have thousands of bros and sisters thinking positive thoughts towards me. I have always been a helper, giving my time and efforts to help friends go through financial and unemployment crisises, just bitter that it hasn't appeared to be reciprocated. Then again, maybe if I told people I needed help they would be able to help me lol. So this was my first step to getting myself help :)

    I have made 40 calls today (no meetings set yet) but I have paid myself through the week already with business brought in and just need to bring in another contract before next Thursday to continue my good trend. I just need to be able to smooth out my mood so it isn't so damn volatile!
     
    The Rev, Boik14, like2god and 4 others like this.
  4. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    I've actually gone through pretty much exactly the same thing. Lost my business, went out of work for awhile, got a job were I make less. Need a modification on my mortgage. It sucks.

    Don't however block out your family. That's the point of having one, to help each other. Point is, forget this place (not really), you've got a support group at home. Let them in bro.
     
    first&goal, The Rev, Themole and 4 others like this.
  5. #1 fan

    #1 fan Well-Known Member

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    good luck man. hopefully everything turns out ok.
     
  6. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    Thanks man! I know you are right about the family and I do try to make an effort, just sometimes don't seem to be able to as easily. Today has been a good day, over the weekend I told myself that I needed to turn over a new leaf and get my arse together, my mood is so dependant on how I do right now as the stress of being in debt is killing me. Well I have kicked arse today and now need to kick arse again tomorrow, if I can keep it going there will be a light, sometimes when all I can see is debt and no show client meetings it is tough. Though by taking a quick look at this site and knowing I am not alone really helps.

    Also got headhunted today and might be in line to get a non commission position with a pay increase. Positive thinking
     
    The Rev, Ohiophinphan, Boik14 and 6 others like this.
  7. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    Hey Brother I can understand what you are going through. I was unemployed for 7 months. I got a job now that pays me half of what I used to make, with no medical or dental benefits, and no 401K. I am even going to lose my house here in the next couple of months, but you know what I have my wife, my three dogs, my family here and locally, and we will be okay. Please don't take as it is the end of the world. Keep your chin up, and know that things will be alright.:yes: My wife and I are at peace as to what is going to happen to us in the very near future. I know it is very hard right now for you, but you must keep the faith, and spend some time with the wife and kids, because no matter what happens they will be there for you, and love you all the same.

    I wish you the very best in life bro!:up:
     
  8. like2god

    like2god Typical white person Luxury Box

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    I can understand, I lost a business a few years ago after putting so much time and energy into it, and I was the one left with the bills as my partner worked on the side and took money under the table. I've also gone through depression, it's not an easy thing to deal with or even accept that you are going through. Pride is a powerful thing, admitting that you are having a tough time dealing with life's issues is something that noone wants to do, but it's something that you need to do. It's not something that you can deal with on your own, you don't necessarily have to seek out a psychiatrist, but it would benefit you greatly to find someone that you trust to be impartial, level-headed and someone who won't just tell you what you want to hear, to talk to and help walk you through the how's and why's of your depression so you can avoid those pitfalls.

    As you said in your opening post, it was a relief to get it off your chest, think of how much more helpful it would be to have someone close to you (or a psychiatrist, if you're open to it) to talk to and help you work through your problems.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope that things will turn around for you. If you need someone to talk to, you know that we're here for you and you can shoot me a pm if need be. :)
     
  9. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

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    these are very difficult, and, confusing times for alot of us. Some of it is economical and political, and alot of it is personal, but its all connected in one way or another. Ive had a rough few years, dealing with family issues and trying to find out who I am and as a young guy, striving to create a stable future. I dont have much of a relationship with my parents, and my family as whole is not as close due to divorces, deaths, and such. I live with my grandmother on my moms side, due to my mom kicking me out five years ago due ot us constantly fighting. I lived with my dads mom for a year until she passed away from breast cancer in summer of 2005, right after i graduated from high school. i moved in here kinda unexpectedly. My grandmother on this side lost her husband, my grandpa, the same year my other grandma passed away. Shes also hasnt been in a good state of health herself for awhile, she had a heart attack recently. So Ive been here since Oct 05 and I things havent improved a whole lot within my family but me personally got a new job last August thats stable and pays well, and has worked out pretty good for me. The things I have to look forward to is becoming an adult and having to learn how to start providing for myself, without having much of a blueprint to follow from, I had to start from scratch. I just recently got a new vehicle, mostly so I can make it safely to work(you wouldnt wanna know what I was driving before). So Im hoping to get my own place eventually, not only cause I want to, I HAVE to, if something happens to my grandma Ill be stranded. All that aside, I do feel depressed and all down because I dont have a relationship with my parents or really anybody in my family. My grandma I live with lives in the past in a lot of ways, kinda hurts my personal life. Plus shes not in the best shape. My crazy *** aunt moved in last Oct and has made life even more difficult. And theres times where I feel like Im not welcome here and that things will get worse here.

    also living where Im living, I dont know alot of people around here, alot of my friends from high school moved, and Im not big on the club scene, so I dont quite fit in where I live. so that doesnt help.

    But instead of getting too down about it, I take a deep breath and remind myself that while it may suck really bad right now, this could lead to new opportunities for the future, and knowing i still have alot to look forward to. I wish the best for you man and hang in there, we all have very trying to times to get through.
     
  10. Regan21286

    Regan21286 MCAT's, EMT's, AMCAS, ugh

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    It can be a lot to handle but it's good to talk it out. It's never really a good thing to keep it inside for so long. Depression can be natural when faced with so many issues. We have a lot of good folks here who will try to bring your spirits up and I'm glad you reached out. I suppose seeing a psychiatrist or a doctor would likely add more to your financial woes but if you do ever feel the need to, it may be worth trying.
     
    Fin Fan In Cali likes this.
  11. adamprez2003

    adamprez2003 Senior Member

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    life can get really rough sometimes. i went through a three year period where nothing seemed to go right. in the middle of it i was getting pretty bitter but you just gotta tough it out and fight through it. if you have bad days dont dwell on it just accept that its a natural reaction and try to do better tomorrow. you'll get throuugh it and you'll be better off for it. btw if you're doing the modification on your own, pm me, and i will let you know what i know about the process. No charge. i'm a part owner of a modification company.
     
    Fin Fan In Cali likes this.
  12. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Bro look up and down this thread, the majority of us have been unemployed at one time or another. For some people its unemployment that causes depression, for some its the lack of money, for some, like me its the fact they have to work at all just to get by instead of hanging on here all day and talking football :wink2:

    You cant get down on yourself because of some bad luck and some bad economic times. You have to push yourself harder and find happiness in the things that are important to you. You have friends here who believe in you and a family that I would think loves you if theyre still with you. So make them proud :hi5:

    You also find out who your friends are when times get rough. I found this out the hard way too. Again, its better to know these things instead of being deluded in to thinking otherwise. If you need someone to talk to just PM me or any of the staff.
     
  13. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    First of all, please know you have my prayers. God knows who you are!

    The folks in this thread have done a great job on the job front and the catharsis of posting surely seems to have helped. Let me talk about depression.

    First of all no matter what the cause, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can be caused by circumstances or as a result of a glandular condition which knocks the chemicals out of line. It is a continium unlike diabetes (another chemical imbalance) so medication while helpful often needs to be adjusted especially early in treatment.

    Diet, excercise, and perhaps medication are vthe classical treatments. Mental excercise such as Prayer, meditiation, etc also can be a great help. You have already done one of the most successful things, talking it out with other people.

    You have my prayers and I will keep watching this thread.
     
  14. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    you are not alone. im a big victim of self sabotage, and not "acting" and cutting my own legs out from under myself when effort and action is needed. sometimes it is hard to overcome whatever that force is that holds us back. just remember, you CAN be broke and be a GOOD dad or husband. fortunately, money has nothing to do with the most important job we all have as parents. just be kind to your kids, do the best you can, and try to fight those obstacles, and you'll be alright.
     
  15. The Rev

    The Rev Totus Tuus Staff Member Administrator Luxury Box Club Member

    Seems like you've gotten sound advice here.
    Like Pastor Keith, I will offer my prayers, also.

    On another note, I want to echo again the importance of what Seth, FFIC, and others have eloquently said: Family is the key. Hold on the ones you love the most during these tough times. They will help you through this.

    As I've said before, gold gets tested in fire. Stay strong my brother. You have a lot of people pulling for you. :wink2:
     

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